I was looking through my writings from the past and found this:
I knew that I didn't want it live in fear but it seemed that I had forgotten that fact and allowed myself to slowly, almost imperceptibly, slither down that slope. I was surrounded by people that chose a path of mistrust and skepticism rather than one of faith and trust. They always ask, "faith in who?" "trust in what?". My answers to those questions rarely satisfy the demanding asker. I'm am treated to scowls and verbal "ha!"s thrown into my face when my truth is spoken to the broken disbeliever. "Faith and trust in the Divine" I say and always follow that with the explanation that we all have divinity within us. I tell them that I believe we are all divine and if we can recognize that fact it would be a whole lot easier to understand, forgive and love everyone and everything. "Doesn't that sound like a wonderful way to live?". Most of the broken and wounded don't answer and choose to leave the conversation there. They prefer their cocoons of comfort that include ignoring change and desperately to holding onto their pain.
I find myself from time to time allowing my journey to become not my own but rather a reaction to the circumstances of my loved ones. I sometimes forget my truth and allow myself to get swallowed up in the chasm of chaos of others. I forget my practice and react instead of sitting in silence awaiting the truth to shine through. To be reactive is to act before thinking, to allow anger in first before opening my eyes and heart to the truth. When I find myself unhappy and unfulfilled I realize the divergence in my journey and go back to speaking and living my truth. I must remember to kindly live my life and to not expect anyone to understand or subscribe to my truth, for it is mine. To live it, to speak it and to think it everyday, all day. I believe that my light does shine on people who have met me. I see it in their eyes when we speak or even just pass each other on the street. I often say “i love you” in my mind to people I walk past or that I see in a distance as I am making my way through the streets. I do love people, and I show it through my actions, my smile, my eyes and my aura. I can’t see others auras clearly, but I do see their hearts through their eyes and faces. I see fear, love, hurt and pain. When I do see these things, I mentally tell them that I love them and often send reiki energy to them in passing.
I try to live my truth everyday, but need to have this reminder when life gets in the way of my journey.